everything is fleeting and so tonight ive stopped caring about the big moments

I received a text message saying that he thinks we should talk. I don't want to because I know what he is going to say. No matter how much I tell myself everything is going to be fine and as much as I know everything will actually be fine, I don't want to face this reality.

One good thing about this adventure is that it gave me inspiration for my next two projects.

Currently...

I am stuck between nothing and nothing with a little bit of something. The past few weeks I have been going home straight from work so I can sleep. In the mornings, I wake up, take a bath, get dressed (frantically), come to work. I haven't made any time for myself and I remember going through this once before and I don't remember what I did about it. I need to find inspiration to find inspiration but I am really getting quite use to the repetition of doing my job. Its really dangerous.

Time

I bought boyfriend #4 a watch with four faces so you can set four different time zones at once.  I bought the gift for him because I will be leaving soon for the european tour and I thought it would be nice for him to know what time it is wherever I am.  Time will keep us connected. Which is so weird to me.  My moment will be the same as his moment and we will always have this constant...but everything else is completely different:where we are, what we are doing, everything.  But no matter what, time will always be the same.  In a way, its like being on opposite sides of the world and looking at the same moon at once except time isn't something you can really look at, you can just be reminded of it.  

It is so relieving thinking about the timing between Boyfriend #4 and how perfect it was.  I left this one vintage store at the exact moment he was passing by.  And if this moment didn't happen I would not be with Boyfriend #4 and my entire life would be different.  This is completely scary and a bit exciting. If I left the store even one second later, B#4 would have walked right by me and he would never have approached me (I'm curious to know how many times this has happened before).  I am completely amazed with how perfect perfect perfect this timing was.

the most annoying thing a man can say: "what do you want me to say"