When I see couples I tend to wonder (even though its none of my business) if they are in love and if they will stay together. And then I wonder, if they are in love, why do they love each other and what makes them so unique...why does that guy love that girl and not me and why does that girl love that guy and not the one that just crossed the street? Its a silly thing to think. When I was younger, I never thought like this. When I was younger I knew that love is love and it can't be explained and he loves her because they were meant to be...because everything aligned and they loved each other cause they had to...because without each other they would be incomplete. When I was younger I knew that I would find someone to love, who would love me back...who would do anything for me...and who would love me in a way that is rare and true. When I was younger I believed in Morgenstern's true love and high adventure.
When I was younger, I knew that when I grew up I would be traveling the world and I would never sit still. I knew myself well enough to know that I wouldn't settle for one city and I would never stop exploring.
Here I am...kind of grown up, sitting in this one place with no love of my life....with no love anywhere in sight. The two things that I have always wanted and always knew I could get, I don't have and have no idea how to start searching for and my dreams are kind of fading away.
I am completely over this growing up thing. The transition from daydreaming teenager to bill paying adult is kind of hard to come to terms with and I kind of can't wait until my bill paying adult self completely erases the daydreaming teenager so I will no longer have those impossible dreams hanging over my head. Have I really become this cynical?
I am logical and a realist but a dreamer. I am having these great conflicts with myself and I have so much to be grateful for and yet I am very impatient for the next [great] moment.
No comments:
Post a Comment